Wonder Woman Thoughts

Hello! So this isn't so much a movie review, it's more of a ramble about what I thought about the film but I hope you like it anyway.

It's been over 50 years but finally, we have a female superhero movie ... and it's good!! I'm so so glad they didn't mess it up. It's not perfect as a film I'll say that much but the importance of Wonder Woman essentially overrules any pedantic thoughts I had.

Gal Gadot is the perfect Wonder Woman; she's good at the humour, she's good at the drama, she's good at the fighting and while I don't want to reduce her to her physical attributes but my god she might be the most stunning woman I've ever seen. It was so good to have a female hero at the forefront of a movie without her playing second fiddle to a dude. As she grew up solely around women she had no reason to ever think her gender would be a hindrance to her. When you finally see her in the costume, my internal monologue was essentially just AAAAAAAH.

Chris Pine as Steve also deserves a little shoutout. I adore Chris Pine anyway but he was played Steve extremely well, never taking away the spotlight from Wonder Woman herself. I wish they'd gone a little bit more into some of the other male characters backgrounds like Charlie and the Chief as they were basically just kind of there and they did seem like interesting characters, but who knows they may make a return!

I will admit the film itself is maybe a little slow at times and some things are left unexplained (Marvel are not very good at treating their female characters well but their films are better executed than DC sorry not sorry) but I think the fact a big studio is finally taking steps towards using their brilliant female characters is a wonderful thing.... so if we could just have a Black Widow movie soon that would be great thank u marvel.

Sorry it's short - I've got exams and I've been procrastinating enough as it is!
Laura

a ramble about fandoms

The lovely Daniel J Layton did this video as part of VEDA and it got me thinking a little bit. Complete side-note if you watch YouTubers of any kind please subscribe to Dan as he is an absolute gem and he deserves all the love.

I am a person who has very much been a 'fangirl' especially between the ages of 14-16 ...in fairness I'm still a fangirl now really but I keep it mostly internal now rather than tweeting embarrassing things to said people I fangirl over. Yet I never felt a part of any fandom. My twitter account was never dedicated to specifically one thing nor was my tumblr.
I was known amongst my friends as a definite fangirl of many things - Glee, Harry Potter, Starkid, Youtubers, Doctor Who....the list is rather endless. I'm basically just very passionate about things I enjoy...in fact one of my friends recently told me that was one of her favourite things about me; that I do enjoy things so unashamedly.

Yet when I think about it, was I or have I ever really been part of a 'fandom'? I was definitely active within certain fandoms on tumblr/twitter and I made internet friends because of it, some of whom I've had the pleasure to meet which is just wonderful. I always felt like an outsider however because I never actively looked into fan theories, analysed every moment or even felt as a strongly towards it as others do. There is almost a high-schoolesque clique within fandoms which is ironic as you'd think this would be a place a nerd felt comfortable. (I use nerd as a term of endearment and I am basically referring to myself here). But because I didn't necessarily get totally and completely involved with something I'm passionate about does that make my feelings towards it any less redundant?

I would say no. Despite the fact I am definitely a fan of certain things, I never really got into the whole idea of online fandom as to be honest, it's a scary place to be sometimes (cough phandom cough). Yet I know what I enjoy and I will be vocal about it when I want to be. My friends know I'm one of the biggest Harry Potter nerds around....and all you need to do is look at my tumblr to know I adore certain shows, actors/actresses and youtubers. Just because the people in a fandom may not know me nor I them, what I do know is what makes me happy. So I guess what I'm trying to say is it doesn't matter...if you identify as a fan of something or someone, that's great and I'm glad you've found something that makes you happy. If you're actively involved and your twitter is entirely dedicated to a fandom that's also great. I know I will likely always have a place somewhere in a fandom as a passive role (mainly because I'm old now ...I don't need to fit in on the internet to feed validation....sorta....that's a whole other ball park lol) ...I'm in the clique just because I feel things towards that show or person.

Does this make any sense?

I said the word fandom too much here and for that I apologise. Anyway that was a ramble on being a fan of stuff ....I may write more about this because boy did I learn things about the internet from being a 14 year 'gleek' (even the word gives me horrible flashbacks now) (that show will always have a place in my heart I mean but wow we needed a better collective term).
thanks for reading! Laura x

Book Review - Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

I decided to read Ready Player One by Ernest Cline after I heard a few YouTubers mention it and my housemate also recommended it. I started the book last Wednesday and I finished it Sunday because oh my god I could not put it down. This is the first book in a while that has really captured my attention and I just need more people to read it please (especially before the film adaptation comes out next year)

Ready Player One is set in the not-too-distant-future the 2040's where environmental problems has left much of the planet in desolate states and poverty... except the entire world can also access the OASIS, an interface sort of Virtual Reality type service and game where you can essentially live without ever having to physically go outside. The OASIS was created by James Halliday, a child of the 1980's, so the book is littered with pop culture references (which I absolutely loved); when he dies, his avatar makes an announcement that, just like any good video game, there are Easter Eggs hidden within them. 3 keys will lead to 3 gates and whoever clears all of them with the highest score will become the heir to his fortune and to the OASIS. The book is told from the POV of Wade Watts, or Parzival as his avatar is known, who becomes the first person to make any progress with the Easter Egg hunt. I won't go too much further as I'll start spoiling things but let's just say there's also some people on the Hunt who wouldn't use the OASIS for good...and they won't stop at killing people. 

The writing itself was perhaps a little shoddy at time, things seemed to move on very fast and towards the end, it seemed a little rushed to wrap up some plot holes. However, the story itself had me hooked, you found yourself really wanting to find out what the end of the quest was as well as finding out more about the other people behind their avatars, for example Ar3temis and Aech... we only ever see their avatars until towards the end. Every character is well-rounded. Despite a straight white male protagonist, there is good diversity within the book ranging from sexuality and race not to mention the fact that Ar3temis is clearly the smartest of the main characters and she's female so yay! 

I give this book a strong 9/10 and highly recommend it. If you like sci-fi but also obscure pop culture references, this is a definite read. I'd also say it doesn't have a particular gender preference and the ages of 14 up could read this. 

Thanks for reading! Laura x

A Response to Dodie Clark - Youtube and the Media

Recently there's been a lot of (for lack of a better word) 'drama' about Youtubers and how the mainstream media portray them. Apparently Zoella is to blame for teenagers not reading....despite the fact the woman has three best-selling books and runs a book club through WHSmiths. But obviously because she talks about make-up, she's a monster.

The lovely Dodie Clark (Doddleoddle online) did this video about how the media talk about and portray Youtubers and she asked for responses. So here is mine. Because oh my god it bothers me how some of them get talked about. 

I've been watching YouTubers since I was about 14/15 (I'm 20 now) and they are some of the people I look up to the most. Is it not better that I look up to people who I've watched grow as both internet personalities and people over the years, who've worked bloody hard for what they've got and what they do, continue to make even better and bigger projects? I've watched some YouTubers before they made it 'big' I guess and it's so wonderful to see people achieving great and inspiring things, particularly when they also genuinely seem like good, kind-hearted people.  For example, Dan and Phil did a worldwide stage tour, Carrie Hope Fletcher played the role of Eponine on the West End and in Dubai (and no she didn't get the role because she's famous on the internet, she got it because she's fantastic), Dodie release an EP, Bry go on tour with Twenty One Pilots, Jack and Dean have their own show....I could name many more wonderful things Youtubers have done. It's inspiring to see people I do hold some form of affection for go on to do brilliant, wonderful things.
On a personal level, I struggled with being homesick, being anxious and some other health problems my first year of uni, if I hadn't have watched certain YouTubers (namely D&P thanks boys lol) I would have been a lot more sad and it helped me get through rough patches as it was 10-15 minutes of my day where I was distracted from my own head. If a YouTuber has made one person feel better about a crappy day what harm can they really be posing to the world? Ask yourself that mainstream media. 

In response to the Guardian article that's caused this discussion, how on earth they can think Zoella is 'ruining literacy', I've got zero clue. My little sister has read Zoe's books and she's not a massive reader - if Zoe's online presence has meant young people have picked up a book instead of their phone or laptop, again what harm is being done? None. 

Some mainstream media seems so obsessed with how much money YouTubers earn. Why on earth does it matter? These people work hard for a living, they are literally all running their own businesses - their channel-  and alongside that, some are working on music, writing books etc. Anytime I've read a newspaper article about YouTubers, it almost always mentions how much they're worth. Louise Pentland, when on Celebrity Mastermind, was asked how much she earns, to which her response was "well how much do you earn?" - no other person in the spotlight would get asked that... but for some reason, being famous online makes it more okay for the media to be invasive. I won't go into the whole PewDiePie drama from the not so distant past as that's a different issue but he did mention the fact that journalists have turned up at his door and I seem to remember a newspaper once printed Zoe and Alfie's address...not only is it awful but it borders on a crime surely.
It really does seem that because some in the mainstream media don't quite understand how these 'kids' online make their money (and be very successful at the same time), they decide to just shame them instead. There does also seem to be a lot of dismissal/misinformation that the main YouTube audience are just 'young teenage girls'. While those who are younger are perhaps more vocal in the YouTube community, I also think that a lot of the audience has grown up with the YouTubers they watch - like I said before I've been watching since I was 14. Therefore this would make the demographic of audiences somewhat older than the media makes out. Some articles I've read dismisses the 'fame' of YouTubers because their audience are young and female - bit sexist innit?

The wonderful Carrie Hope Fletcher made some excellent responses in this video in that YouTube needs the mainstream media so it isn't enough to boycott it but also that the media uses clickbaity titles (as some YouTubers do) in order to get attention/views/clicks on their article. Everyone is doing the same thing so it isn't necessarily a case of new vs old media. It does perhaps need some time for things to merge together but I feel that if some mainstream media got over 'I don't understand this' and researched YouTubers and worked with them rather than against them, the entirety of digital media would become a lot more friendly. Outlets like the Huffington Post and Buzzfeed seem to be doing this crossover quite well in my opinion.

Well this is a somewhat rambling post I do apologise. I hope it makes sense - thinking about it I might write some more pieces on YouTube as it is a part of my life that I'm passionate about. Thanks for reading and see you soon :)
Laura x

The Girl from the Savoy - book review!

Because I am a university student who does a Humanities degree it means I spend the majority of my time reading which ultimately means my reading for pleasure suffers as I tend to use my breaks to catch up on TV or YouTube. However, after starting this book last August (and then stupidly leaving it at my friend's house who lives an hour away from me....plus I got distracted by the Cursed Child script whoops) I finally finished The Girl from the Savoy last week so thought I'd do a little review!

I read one of  Hazel Gaynor's other books, A Memory of Violets, last year and I absolutely adored it so I was very excited to read The Girl from the Savoy. I'm a history student/geek who is a romantic at heart so Hazel's fiction is very much up my street. I will highly recommend A Memory of Violets (and I may even say at a push I enjoyed it slightly more than this one ahem)

The Girl from the Savoy is set in 1920's London, funnily enough at the Savoy Hotel. Hotels are a setting I often find fascinating because you come across literally anyone and everyone, no matter the point in history. It follows the story of Dolly Lane, a young aspiring actress who becomes a maid at the Savoy, as well as Loretta May, a famous West End star. They both hold secrets in their past, they have both loved and lost and their stories intertwine together to form a wholesome, interesting story.

What I particularly found interesting about this book was the slight twist (probably the best way to word it) in terms of the romantic story lines. No spoilers but it did seem as if the story was heading one way only to demonstrate that love is a fickle, delicate thing and just because a person seems right for you, and perhaps in another world or time they would be the right person, it doesn't mean it all works out happily. The book also covers various topics such as sexual abuse, illness, losing a loved one and the issues of the soldiers who returned from war. It contains two central female characters who come from different walks of life but wholeheartedly support one another which warms my little feminist heart right to the centre. In terms of the setting, the whole world of 1920's London is a magical place it seems (obviously this was not necessarily the case but Hazel does a lovely job of describing and making you get entirely engrossed in this glamorous past)

My slight issue with the book was that it dragged a little in the middle and a plot device at the end did seemingly come a little from nowhere. But that may have been because I also read this book normally quite late at night so I may have just not picked up on the hints about it. However, the characters are interesting and even though occasionally flawed (but who isn't?), they are people you find yourself rooting for and it keeps the reader invested.

On the whole, I rate this book a solid 8/10 and would definitely recommend.

Bye for now!!
Laura x

general ramblings about mental health at university

Having been a semi-successful university student for a year and a half now, I have some thoughts. Not only about what university has meant for me/done for me, but about growing up in general I guess. I'm halfway through my second year now and I should be revising instead of writing this but I said  I was gonna write something every week and damn it I am going to.

Number one - you're on your own kid.
I mean I know it's kinda obvious when you go to university, you're suddenly away from your home, your family, your friends and familiar surroundings. But it didn't really hit me until I shut the door to my tiny little room last year after saying bye to my parents. I turned round, looked at the bare walls and my belongings (that didn't look right out of my bedroom at home)...and burst into tears. Anyone who knows me knows I am such a home-bird and being away suddenly felt like I'd made a huge mistake. I wasn't ready to live independently!

As it turns out, I was ready to live independently and it's all just nerves taking over. I had lovely flatmates (well bar one but we won't talk about him) and everyone is in the same boat. Talk to people, ask for help and breathe deeply if it's getting too much.

Number two - mental health and self-care
I've always been an anxious person  - I worry too much, I stress about very trivial things and I'm very paranoid when it comes to friendships, I don't really know why. But it was during the first term at university, things started to get quite bad. I became afraid to leave my little room in my flat essentially due to the fear something would go wrong in public. I had been diagnosed with stress-related IBS ...so when I had a bad flare-up in a lecture (essentially it was a horrendous stomach cramp that left me feeling like I was gonna throw up everywhere) my brain started to associate my stomach issues to lectures. Therefore lectures became a scary place to be. Which then latched itself onto any public place ... the shops, seminars, where I volunteered. It was scary and unfamiliar to me. I shut myself away a lot of the time which didn't help. Eventually I went to the doctor who referred me to a counsellor. I was told I had agoraphobia - the fear of public spaces - as well as some general anxiety that reinforced it. It sounds dumb I know but it was nice to put a name to the thing that had been bothering me for a long time. After two months of working on this, I began to feel better. I could tell the voice in my head to shut up, that I was fine, nothing bad was going to happen. I began to enjoy my studies again.

Mental health is so bloody important, never ever neglect it. If you need to spend a day eating junk food and watching crappy tv, you do it. Forget your deadlines (not completely tho) and take care of yourself. Have a bath, read a book, even just going for a walk may help clear your hand and calm you down. I'd never really had to look after myself in such a way before but now I know it's super-important that you take breaks. If I'm getting overwhelmed, it's time to go to talk to my housemate or watch a YouTube video or listen to a song. LOOK AFTER YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU'RE A DELIGHT OKAY <3

Number three-  nightlife
Due to the whole 'I-don't-like-public-spaces' thing, I really hate nightclubs. Give me a cider and a pub quiz any day of the week instead of having to pay stupid entry fees to be squished up against drunk strangers. I don't really drink as it is, I know my limits and I very rarely go beyond them. University if you don't drink (or don't drink that much) is kinda weird as it's a thing everyone does.  I don't like going out, it's just not my thing. But that's okay, you'll find like-minded people. Even if you don't and a lot of your friends do like going out (which mine do) you'll find they won't really judge you for it. I may have been lucky in this sense however so don't take my word for it. It's all a case of you do you I think. I won't judge you for going out as long as you don't judge me for not. This works probs 99% of the time. Yes this does tie into mental health.... because you gotta do stuff you enjoy, you can't just force yourself into situations cause you think it's what others do. That's only gonna lead to you feeling worse. I can promise that.

There is probably more I could go into but I think I'll save some stuff for another blogpost...
see ya next week.
Laura x

2014 in review

Seeing as it is the last day of 2014, I thought I might just write a little reflection post on what this year was like for me/it just gives me a chance to post some pictures that I like ;)

All in all, it's been pretty damn good, however there have certainly been low points but I guess that is the same for everybody.

This was the year I've had to grow up considerably I think, what with university decisions, exams (which did not go to plan so I've again had to rethink that I'm doing with my life), health problems caused by stress, having to deal with being forced to quit by my place of work, friendships turning sour but new ones and some old ones being stronger than ever.

I turned 18 in November so I'm offically an adult now.....an adult who wore a Tigger onesie the majority of yesterday and hid in her sister's room for around half an hour in order to make her jump. So while I'm not fully grown up yet (and I'm not sure I ever want to be) I have had to deal with stuff this year that has matured me and hopefully made me a better person for it.

I guess I also want to write a note to my family and friends for this year. I may argue with my family at times but I think 2015 might be rather difficult for us given the health of a grandparent at the moment so I love you all and thank you for always, always having my back. My group of friends are all so wonderful and caring, and I am so grateful I have them in my life. I don't tell them enough because urgh soppiness but I have much love for them too. Thank you to everyone who has made my 2014 excellent or has been there through the awful bits.

To relieve some memories that happened this year, here are some pictures:

Visting Auschwitz, a very harrowing day

Meeting the wonderful and talented Carrie Hope Fletcher

MCBUSTED.

Me, the grandparents, the sister and the cousins on Grandma's 80th

Friends <3

The father dearest

A kitten I wanted to take home with in Devon

Rome

Halloween

Halloween

Birthday hug from the sis

Christmas jumpers with momma and sis

School xmas party

1920's party

1920's party

I am going to apologise for the formatting but I don't have time to make it pretty today I'm afraid :P

Very quickly, my New Year's Resolutions are:

• Eat healthier
• STOP BITING MY NAILS
• Try and be less lazy
• Write down every book read
• Try and read at least 35 books!
• Do more things with my friends
• Blog more
• PASS MY DRIVING TEST!!!
• and you know get the grades to go to Uni and that.

That's it from me for 2014. I shall see you next year! Lots of love Laura x

Book review: Kill Your Boss by Shane Kuhn

The latest book I have read (apart from school ones bleurgh) is this lovely little one - okay lovely is a word we will use loosely- by Shane Kuhn. I've always liked stories of assassins and such like as creepy as that makes me sound but I find them exciting and intriguing.

This story is written partly as an FBI investigation into John Lago, the anti-hero of the book and partly as John's own perspective - an experienced hitman and killer writing to the new recruits for the company he works for HR Inc.
In summary, the story is that this is John's last assignment - he is 25 now so too old to be an intern anymore (how HR Inc get their killers into where they want to be) so he wants to go out with a bang. However, when he finds himself falling for a undercover FBI agent named Alice who just so happens to investigating the man he has been sent to kill; things get interesting. (Of course, there are huge plot twists in this but I'm not going to tell you so go read it for yourself)

I really enjoyed this book; it was funny, it was just the right amount of blood, guts and gore and there was a rather sweet little love story at the centre of it and despite me hating fully romantic novels, I do like a good love story when it's surrounded by an interesting plot line. I liked the character of John's narrative; he was rather self-deprecating at times but I can forgive him that; he hadn't had the best start in life! I also thought Alice was particularly bad ass and would have liked a back story on her!

Criticism of this book is I found myself slightly confused towards the end; everything gets a little blurry and distorted as to who is where, who is dead etc etc.

All in all, I would highly recommend to anyone who is up for a quick, easy read and who enjoys murder mysteries from the murderer's perspective. 8/10 :)

Laura x

1984: A Review!

On the 19th, I went to see Headlong's production of 1984 in York - as I am studying the book by George Orwell for my English Lit A-Level, I figured seeing the play would add a new light to it.

(In terms of my opinion on the book, I really enjoyed reading it, it was interesting, intense and very thought-provoking even in terms of today's society!)

It is very difficult to go into a lot of detail with this version of the play as I think everyone who sees it would have come away with something different. What I found the most interesting about it was at the beginning and the end, it had people reading Winston's diary in the future and talking about the relevance of it, what they thought of it, how the Party had eventually fallen but no-one actually knew how - this opening scene was later reflected at the very end when it was said Winston Smith was never real, it is thought the diary could have been written by someone who did not wish the Party to know it was them. The most chilling part was when a character said "But what if the Party never fell? Surely, this could be their way of telling us that they are still here. Always watching" The play closed very shortly after that line.

The use of including future generations reading the book 1984 was incredibly clever as well as giving the audience the impression that the story never actually happened. How it was acted out was that Winston had perhaps never met Julia, he had always been a puppet of the Party. They'd let him imagine that all of his life had happened to him when in reality, they had always controlled him, giving a rather interesting point of view on it.

Repetition was also used during the play. For example, Winston would say something but not understand it, it would later come back round as to why he said that (basically the idea that he was in Room 101 the entire time). A scene in the canteen would play out, with characters doing the same thing every day at the same moment (As a side note, during this scene, I have never seen a man dry a teacup with such malice on his face), showing the monotonous life those in the book lead. It only changes when Syme is 'unpersoned' that Winston starts notice how similar every single day is.

The use of lighting and set was very good, even if I was blinded by the strobe light that was basically next to my head half the time! Lighting was used to create a mood, was switched on and off at the most dramatic times, increasing tension or diffusing it. The set was simple but incredibly effective. For example, Winston and Julia's room above Charrington's shop was hidden from the audience view behind the main set, it was played to the audience via a webcam - I at first thought it was a clip that they just played until the set revealed itself behind the main one when Julia and Winston were captured. This, I thought, was particularly clever as it showed even when they thought they were alone, someone was always watching.

All I really have left to say is a huge well done to the cast, particularly Matthew Spencer (Winston) and Tim Dutton (O'Brien) who both played their roles amazingly. The torture scenes were certainly not easy to watch so I imagine they were not easy to act out either, Spencer brought a very accurate portrayal of Winston (I may even say better than John Hurt in the movie version which is not easy for me to say as I adore John Hurt). Dutton as O'Brien was as terrifying as he should be, sinister and weirdly charming.
But to be honest, all of the cast were brilliant in their respective roles.

I only had one or two disappointments with this production which was there was no use of the famous first line with the clock striking thirteen, I felt that should have been a must! Another is that (even though loose ends were tied up) the beginning is rather confusing even to those who have read the book, it was difficult to understand why there were suddenly smartphones in 1984!! Obviously though, these are very minor things and it is more me just being picky.

All in all, I would give this a definite 9/10 and highly recommend you go see it while you can!!
Their website is here if you want more information 

Below is a trailer for the production in the West End!

*DISCLAIMER: pictures are not mine*
That's all!

Laura x

Mockingjay: Part One thoughts

The trailer for the penultimate Hunger Games movie is here!
 *WARNING: possible spoilers for those who have not read the books*

As a lover of both the books and the movies, I am very excited for this film to come out.  With some book-to-movie conversions, I feel very disappointed as a reader how unlike the book the films often are *cough Percy Jackson cough* but the Hunger Games movies are (generally) loyal to their book counterparts and for that I am thankful. From what I can tell from the trailer, they have District 13 exactly as I imagined it from the books, dark, mysterious but a hopeful place.

In terms of the cast, I am particularly excited for Natalie Dormer's part as Cressida in this movie - she is a fantastic actress, seen in Game of Thrones and Elementary, as well as just being an all-round beautiful person. I honestly think she could take over the world tomorrow and everyone would just be okay with it. Josh Hutcherson as 'Captiol' Peeta in this movie could also be very interesting to play out on screen. In the books, those scenes broke my little Katniss/Peeta shipper heart so to actually see them in front of me will probably just turn me into more of  an emotional wreck than I already am!

There isn't really much more I can say on this, just because it simply is a trailer for a movie that looks really bloody good. The first two instalments of The Hunger Games are fantastic, particularly Catching Fire, so I have no doubts that this will match up in all aspects. Once the full movie comes out, I will obvs be doing a review. These were just some initial thoughts I had and wanted to tell someone about!
Let me know what you think if you are a fan also!
Laura x

New school year, New start

I'm pretty sure I've said this every school year I have started - "I'm gonna be really organised!" "I'm gonna get all my homework out the way when I get it" blah blah blah, you get the picture but never actually followed it through.

But seeing as this is my last EVER school year (oh god), I am so determined to keep to these promises. This is my most important year of school and exams and for once, I am motivated to try hard, go the extra mile and all that jazz.

Including, making time for this blog. Starting from this week, I am going to be posting something every Sunday, could be a review of some kind, a recipe, something I want to talk about, something I've written myself but just a blog post with words in it.

This one is gonna be short and sweet so all I am going to say is to my fellow students, work hard and keep to any promises you make to yourself! We can do this together!

Tis all for now.
Laura x

I CAN'T WRITE PERSONAL STATEMENTS - a ramble about my life

So if you're like me, you are 17, got your AS results (and if you're really like me, you are incredibly annoyed with yourself over them) and are now just stressing about life and the ominous 'future'.

And the truth is.... I am terrified.

Generally, I'm a postive person- I'd like to think I spend quite a lot of time making sure my friends are happy and not feeling down. I give them advice that I ought to take myself but I just can't think straight when it comes to me.

The way I'm going writing a personal statement, passing my A2's and getting into a decent uni seem virtually impossible at the moment. If you add loving but pressuring parents, ill grandparents and low self-esteem on top of that, I feel overwhelmed. While I can't decide if this is due to my own feelings or the British schooling system, it is likely it is a mixture of both.
I've spent the last 24 hours thinking what the hell am I going to do? I'm never going to amount to anything, I'm never going to pass anything....etc.

However. Nearly everyone I know is possibly in the same boat. This is our final year of school that has suddenly got here very quickly. We're all scared. We all probably don't know what we are going to do in the future. We all know we have a hard year ahead.

So this is essentially a post to say.... let's be scared together.
A piece of paper with some letters on it does not define you and I need to remember that.  I think a lot of us need to remember that.

I realise this hasn't been coherant but whatever. Share thoughts with me if you have them on this matter :)
Laura x